Thursday, December 8, 2016

14th month

So last two month I paid a visit to a place that I used to call home years ago. The family, you and her. Everything was fine. Not because it was fine, but because I was civilised and deep down inside I know there is nothing I could do anymore. I know my place and I respect your decision.

But then, I noticed  how well she fit in with the family now. And I suddenly realized what used to be my weekend is now hers.

What used to be my life is now her life. The place I could call home was no longer mine.

That supposed to be my life if it was not her soliciting you to leave. Or so I thought. 

But as I said earlier, I already know my place and I respect your decision. And I hope you understand that you cannot expect me to be all nice and warm with someone who snatch that away from me. 

It took two months for me to come up with this. Must have been very heavy stuff kan, wahai hati?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Not a bolt. Not yet a jornett

Everytime I drive by a hilly route and my car cant keep up with the speed I intend to, the question "Can I run this" comes naturally now.

Everytime I see a beautiful mountain with a clear terrain, the same question lingers.

This would sound, at most, poyo. Hence this note, so I can flush this out, or reflects back in near future.

Friday, October 28, 2016

12th month

It has been a year.

And I thought it was all in the past and I was all strong until I bump into you and your friend.

I saw your face glowing and were all light up. You seem happier now.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

11th month

Never that I thought it will come to this eleven moon ago.

Know that my heart can and always want to do the waiting forever.

But I will try this one, too. For starting over. Or move on. Or whatever terms that people may call it.

Friday, September 2, 2016

10th month

Hai awak yang entah di mana-mana,

I ran my maiden ultra last weekend. How far should I continue running, to convince you that I am worth for you to at least, stay?

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Flying a kite

At the time when you dreaming of having both world, remember that my only world: the one that I put all my resources; the one that I hope with the word future in it, was ripped away from me, partially due to your mouth.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Don't live a half life by Khalil Gibran

Poem beautifully written by Khalil Gibran:

Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space

It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists to live a life not half a life

Khalil Gibran